What are some benefits of having a big butt?

  • Well, there are a lot of great answers here already, but there is one important benefit that I believe may have been missed.

    When you talk about the benefits of having a big butt, you can talk about your health benefits, your sexual attraction benefits, your floatation device benefits and your spring bounce benefits all day long.

    But the thing that benefited from big butts the most was on the women of the Roller Derby days.

    The types of women who were recruited more than any other, were those women with the BIG BUTTS. Also known as BABs (Big Ass Bitches).

    On all Roller Derby teams you had your Jammers, your Blockers and your Pivots and each of those positions were best played by a woman with a big butt.

    Big butted women jammed better, blocked better and pivoted better when they had a big butt behind them to pad their falls and bounce opposing players off of their blocks, their jams, their layouts, their scoops, their takedowns their pins and their pivots. So a BAB (Big Ass Bitch) was always the first recruitment choice over a TAB (Tiny Ass Bitch) when it came to putting together a winning Roller Derby Team.

    A Roller Derby team’s full lineup for a jam consisted of one Pivot, three Blockers and one Jammer. Each team may field up to five players for each jam.

    • Pivot – The pivot blocker wears a helmet cover with a stripe on it.
      • She generally starts at the first starting line and serves as the leader of her teammates playing in that jam.
      • As most teams play the pivot position at the front of the pack, she is also often the last line of defense to stop the opposing jammer from escaping the pack.
    • Blocker – The other three blockers do not wear helmet covers. All blockers may all play offense and defense at any given time and frequently switch between offensive and defensive tasks.
      • The rules do not differentiate the remaining three blocking positions from one another.
      • However most roller derby teams choose to assign names and focus areas to the blocking positions for strategic purposes.
    • Jammer – The jammer wears a helmet with a star on it. She lines up at the second starting line and begins play at the second start whistle.
      • The jammer’s goal is to pass opposing blockers and emerge from the pack as quickly as possible.
      • If she is the first of the two jammers to escape the pack without committing any penalties, she gains the strategic advantage of being able to stop the jam at any time by placing her hands on her very large hips and slowing down opposing players with her big butt.
      • Once a jammer laps the pack, she begins scoring one point for every opposing blocker she passes legally.
      • She can continue to lap the pack for additional scoring passes for the duration of the jam and her big butt helps to keep opposing skaters from passing her on either side.

    Sure the TABs were important too, but without the BABs, a Roller Derby team had very little chance of a winning season.

    Roller Derby started to lose its appeal after rumors of BBFs (BAB Breeding farms) began to surface.

    The public thought such Breeding Farms could exist as a place to breed Big Ass Bitches for the sole purpose of later recruiting them onto a professional Roller Derby team.

    So they put an end to it right away and whenever a new BBF Camp was exposed, it was raided that same week and taken down.

    People rallied to bring an end to BBF cruelty which fortunately worked before it had a chance to take hold and become widespread.

    There was also a concern and public outcry to protest Big Ass Bitch Fighting or BABF which was similar to cock fighting except instead of cocks fighting to the death,

    it was Big Ass Bitches in the ring.

    This type of illegal event usually took place on a farm or the estate of a wealthy homeowner to minimize potential interference from law enforcement.

    In most BABF locations, Big Ass Bitches were pitted against one another in a fight to the death.

    This was soon ended as well by rigorous policing.

    Teams of BAUAs (Big Ass Undercover Agents) would pose as BABs and gain the trust of the cult leaders which helped to eventually take down the cult before more Big Ass Bitches were injured or killed from being forced to fight.

    Most states legislated new laws forbidding BAB Farms and anyone caught committing a CTBABIs (Cruelty To Big Ass Bitch Infraction) was arrested on the spot and spent the night in jail.

    The same was true for anyone caught tormenting, torturing, neglecting or attaching firecrackers to the ass of a big ass bitch and lighting them.

    Penalties ranged from having to pay a fine of up to $10,000 to serving 6 months in jail with a big ass bitch or both.

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