How does pain change you?

  • How does pain change you?

    Yes, I think it does, from personal experience. Pain, both physical or emotional changes your perspective of life to a better angle. You see it more for what it really is and it like pinches you back to the reality of how life works. People who don’t experience any pain don’t know how to handle certain circumstances and don’t truly know themselves… you get what i mean? Like, if you were to ask them to describe their personality or themselves, they wouldn’t know how to do it. Because everything in their life was picture perfect with no suffer or pain. Pain changes you to a better person. It helps you analyse who you are and where your priorities should lie. It helps you see life in a bigger picture. You know, I’m a teen and like most teens, you are bound to meet that person in high school who is like super cool and everyone is just fascinated by them. And everything in their life just seems perfect and glam. They are flawless and you can’t help but think they have perfect lives. Well I too knew one like that. Everyone loved her and she had like perfect everything and I admit I did get jealous of her and her perfect life. I mean like who wouldn’t? She had happy, easygoing, freedom-giving parents (which my parents are not and never will be), she was pretty, had a good height and wavy hair, a great smile, an awesome figure with long legs…. You know. She was an amazing athlete, got guys waiting on her,(tho we were a girls school. Guys from outside knew her.They would send her bars of chocolate and love letters when she went out for athletic meets. Can u imagine that?) I used to be one of those “when will my life begin?!” boring people and I couldn’t help but be jealous and think life was a bitch to me. But she lost her dad in her last year at school. She shattered. I, for one, forgot all that lame envy and my heart just went out to her so much. I remember thinking to myself , “ and you were thinking about her perfect life? What the hell happened to perfect life?!” that’s when I realised nobody can have perfect lives. Everyone goes through pain. But pain changes people for better or for worse. She totally changed. She got into bad habits and became meaner spoiling her “sweet girl” picture. But obviously everyone sympathized coz everyone knew why she was like that changed. But what about in her college and after? Would everyone she meets know that this was why? What I’m coming to say is apart from all that seeing life more clearer and developing character because of pain, people can also change for the worse because of pain if they don’t know how to handle it and it’s too much for them. Pain definitely brings about change and that change goes both ways. It’s very rare to find people unchanged after going through some sort of pain. Something will change in them: their attitude, thinking process, principles ,something. I kinda think people who face pain earlier are luckier coz they know how to handle the after effects of it well ,right from the smaller, earlier stages of pain. People who grow older untouched by it because of popularity, or status or whatever, find it difficult when pain hits them. And it is bound to hit. And then they find it too hard to handle coz they are alien to it and if effects them badly. Like that girl I knew.

    So all I’m trying to say is pain, in whatever way it effects you, is just a life experience you need to learn from to make a better change in you. ☺

    Going by the bookmarks, we’re talking physical pain here.

    I have had two quite serious brain events that left me comatosed, and as a result of these brain events I have brain damage, which causes quite a few problems. Most of them I have found ways around, but one is a chronic pain problem.

    It started as nerve pain once a month or so, but has now escalated to daily nerve, muscle, joint and bone pain from my lower back down to my toes.

    It affects every facet of my life.

    I can’t be on my feet for long periods. I can’t do a lot of physical activity because I will hurt during or after. I take pain medication daily and am likely going to need to take it for the rest of my life. I need a walking stick if I’m walking early in the morning (like when I go to work).

    I can’t walk my dogs. I can’t go to museums. I can only do “short spurt” activities.

    Where once I used to be carefree, I am now very cautious. I don’t like to leave the house very much, because my pain levels can increase quickly and dramatically, and once they do it renders me immobile.

    The pain medication slows my brain down in a very noticeable way. I feel dumb compared to pre-brain events, and this is quite upsetting for me, as I’ve always been a brainy person.

    I get frustrated and upset with my body when there is pain in a new location. Like, you aren’t putting me through enough, you’re going to spread it to my armpits now?!

    I’m terrified that sooner rather than later, it will force me to give up work, and .

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    Pain; A factor of having power to alter everything in life of a person to 180 degree shift either positive or negative. People who pass through the trance of physical pain or emotional downfall due to losing valuable people due to death or may be other reasons of the modern materialist world or some kind of ill-behavior can become a pile of wool or an unshakable mountain.

    Mostly introverts try not to share their pain with others because they presume that no one can understand their condition OR the intensity of pain they are going through. Moreover, they do not like to be sympathized by others in the most fake manner. Hence there is only one option which is to be opt i.e. to be a sack having all in it at a “secure” place.

    This pain can lead them to something really worthy as they need to forget about it as soon as possible. Hence they tend to do something which keeps their mind in a tangled hard working routine leading to an iconic person after times. They try to reduce their leisure time as minimum as possible. BUT if it fails, it will be as drastic as not to be considered may be leading to harm own self till the end of life.

    An extrovert will some what find any way to say it all to a so called friend or any one trust worthy in his eye. It will make him feel lighter and calmer. Being sympathized can be a way for him to get out of this trance in lesser time. Hence that pain effects him in a lighter and amendable way. Probably. these kind of people seem to be lucky enough to feel everything not so deeper and for longer time than they pretend or show off to be.

    There is no love without pain and there is no life without pain. Pain is how we gain our wisdom and our strength and it’s how we develop thick skin. But in between pain and wisdom, we change — because no one gets out of pain the same person they used to be.

    We still hope. But we also fear; we think of how things can go wrong, how good things will be short-lived, how things will not go the way we want them to because that’s easier to handle, it’s easier to deal with bad outcomes when you expected them. We live, but we don’t completely give in to happiness, we don’t believe that good things will last, we think that life will somehow take it all back.

    Pain changes people; mostly for the better, but when people suffer, they try to do everything they can to avoid it, they don’t want their hearts to sink into the ground again, they don’t want to cry uncontrollably again and they don’t want to feel weak again.

    Sometimes I wish pain didn’t change us, I wish pain didn’t get so deeply to us so we can love, live, hope and dream like we used to. So we can believe in happiness and miracles the way we used to.

    Sometimes I wish we could change pain instead of pain changing us, so we can find a way to be ourselves again, to be the people we used to be before we were broken.

    Pain changes a person drastically.

    I haven’t experienced it personally. But there is a friend of mine who has once elaborated her life to me.Her name is anaya I can share her experience.

    There have been many times when she changed when it felt painful. Incidents are right from the childhood.

    Incident 1- She has been brought up as a single child till the age of 6. Deeply loved, badly pampered and completely liberated. When for the very first time she was disciplined, she felt exploited. First change occurred. A little chlld lost faith in freedom.

    Incident 2- She has always been good at academics. Small amount of studies and wonders made. But as she approached class 12, never studied hard and could not make it in a reputed institution. Change 2 occurred. A young teen lost confidence.

    Incident 3- When she was in standard 7, she lost her grandfather. the biggest loss made to a tender heart. Change 3 occurred. She lost courage.

    incident 4- When a young adult was in the most crucial phase of her career, she lost her father. Change 4 occurred. She lost support and turned weak.

    incident 5- When this grown up adult was making all the possible efforts and taking all the risk to end up somewhere still, love happened and everything else became history. Change 5 occured. But for her surprise she had gained for the first time and she gained everything that she lost. She got her courage, strength, confidence back. But little did she knew that she was about to lose the greatest treasure of her life.. PEACE. Change 6 occurred. Life changed

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    Pain changes people.

    Pain can change people, whether it’s in a good or bad way… Change is Change, right? Pain changes people, because it’s all mental, even if pain is physical, it is still mental. We can control our bodies with our brain, so what a man thinks, he has already done…this is biblical. When you linger in painful thoughts, your body will eventually feel it, again all mental. Pain changes people, because pain is a huge emotion that is not designed to elevate or decline, but pain is meant to “Grow.” The foundation of the word PAIN for me is GROWTH.

    Being BROKEN is a PRIVILEGE…


    PAIN is PAINful.

    PAIN holds a lot of POWER.

    PAIN can UNCONSCIOUSLY make a person create BOUNDARIES.

    PAIN can sometimes bring PLEASURE.

    PAIN will BREAK.

    PAIN can BUILD.


    PAIN can EXPOSE.



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    Yes, it is a fact that pain changes people.

    I have seen many people who faced issues at their childhood and came out of it becoming a totally different person. This change has its pros and cons, which varies from person to person.

    I have known one of my friend whose parents were unable to support him for his studies but his Father’s brother i.e his uncle came forward and took the responsibility of his brother’s children.

    It will not be an easy task for a child to survive at some other’s place, no doubt his uncle and aunt were very supportive but they had their whole family also,he faced many difficulties but came out of this becoming a very strong person.

    He completed his on scholarship only, then he got a job with a tremendous organisation as a Researcher, he is very young to be at the post of researcher.

    Whenever I talk to him, I can see the shadow of his past on his present, sometimes negatively also, but all in all he is a gem of a person. He supports his younger siblings ad cousins in their studies and he is a sole follower of his Uncle who made him which he is now.

    When I see people like this around me, I feel that we need these kind of examples of humanity for our society.

    My friend is a successful person professionally but still he face some issues in his personal life as those shadows of past, he is unable to lag behind.

    P.S:He never explains to me that what problems he had faced but yes I can feel his silence that he must have seen some hardships which changed him entirely.

    Personality change? Emotions change. Experiences change my perceptions. At the core, I like to believe that I’m still in touch with the innocence or purity or simplicity of what I believe is inside my treasure chest, my heart. I long for the glory in silence just witnessing nature, sparrows huddling within the bird feeder or hearing a bird sing. When I went through moments of pain, my head and heart felt energetically heavy, burdened and not really clear to appreciate the small things that my innocence reminds me of. I was developed by a mother that was in a state of numbness because pain did change her, a broken heart, a broken marriage, a broken home; changed her. I never witnessed my mother cry. I thought to myself, at a very young age that I’d like to grow better despite the bitterness. I can’t say I’m fully optimistic or pessimistic, I can’t say I’m fully happy or sad, these days peace feels more liberating than attaining the overly idealistic visions that used to drive me a bit insane if I think about it now. Yes, pain has either changed me, molded me or broken me open, the old me that is. I allow myself or the proverbial personality to be a renewing cell, just like every other part within my body.

    Having experienced both emotional traumatic loss multiple times, and having Fibromyalgia with constant pain, fatigue, and loss of ability to concentrate, yes. My life has been changed dramatically and negatively.

    I am not the person I was prior to my traumas and constant pain. I have felt that family and friends do not understand how bad I feel. Emotional and physical pain is not always evident, I appear fine. I cannot do routine housework, or hold a job.

    I am a survivor, but I have very little of my previous personality left. It is exhausting for me to take a shower, do my hair and get dressed. I experience hyper sensitivity to temperature, hot or cold.

    Constant pain drains every ounce of energy I have. I want to “pull my socks up” and get on with life, I just can’t. I am disappointed to find myself in this position. I have experienced trauma throughout my life, starting from the age of 4. I have been able to rise above most of the traumas in my life until the murder and suicide of two men I loved dearly.

    I have found that deep emotional trauma experienced multiple times has an accumulative effect not only to your mind, but your body as well. Please remember that you cannot possibly know what another person has experienced unless you have walked in their shoes, and don’t judge them.

    It does. Now the immediate question that follows this answer would be – whether it changes one for better or for the worse? I’d say that it solely depends on the person who has undergone a traumatic experience in life. A traumatic experience doesn’t really have to be massive like a death or accident although they qualify the criterion, but it can also be losing a friend, breakups, failing an exam, losing a pet, being bullied, being harassed, being lonely in company of friends etc.

    If a person has a strong support and a willpower to overcome trauma then healing is definitely possible with time. It doesn’t happen immediately following a traumatic incident but eventually one starts to discern reality from self pitying beliefs. One starts to take decisions based on logic rather than relying solely on emotions – an indicator that can be regarded as the harbinger of a beautiful healing journey.

    I know that there’s nothing dramatic or romantic about pain – it is merely devastating. However, the healing brings you closer to yourself, challenges your long held negative beliefs and indicates your inner resilience. Indeed trauma and healing are two of the most daunting journeys of life yet those are the great factors that mould one’s personality for the better.

    If one doesn’t want to acknowledge the silver lining and wants to immerse oneself in self-pity and assumes victim attitude for long that would just hinder a person from living a good life despite the trauma. Yes, it is possible to overcome pain and still lead an authentic peaceful life. But only if you choose to, with time.

    I hope this helped.

    Thanks for reading.

    First of all, pain can be physical or mental(psychological).

    It seems like you are referring to the mental pain, but I will answer for both, for the benefit of others.

    Physical pain, if short-term, seldom changes the personality of a person overall, though it changes one’s attitude and perception of pain, health and medical facilities.

    Long-term pain, both physical and psychological, affects the health of a person. This includes physical, psychological, environmental, and social aspects of health.

    For example, physical ill-health reduces the working capacity of the individual ,which in turn affects his mental ( person may be depressed) , environmental and social health.

    It is essential that the person receives emotional support from family and friends, social support from the society in terms of awareness, and financial support from the government.

    This was a scientific point of.

    Philosophical ideas are up for discussion.

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